CONTENT WARNING: My dearest readers, this post contains recent tragic circumstances that may trigger you. Please stop reading and talk to people nearby or your friends if you feel like.
Last night, I lost my best friend at Denison. She was found deceased in her room.
I woke up with the email and I was shocked. The last time I talked to her was in February, she seemed perfectly fine and I did not really notice anything suspicious. I loved her, she was a good person and a good friend. We worked together, had same classes, we ate together and played together. She was supposed to graduate in two months, and we had an agreement that I would visit her in Boston this fall if I could not make it to her graduation. I felt upset and I wish I were there because last semester she gave me huge support when I had my down time. I wish I could be there when she needed help.
What is life, what is the meaning of life?
Life is fragile, people can just leave without any warning. I remember reading news about the Ethiopian plane crash a few days ago. It was also a tragic, six minutes after taking off, the plane crashed, all the passengers dead. There was a young student onboard about to meet with her boyfriend whom she had not seen for a long while in Nairobi. Six minutes was probably nothing for us, but it was like forever for her and her boyfriend.
I did not know what happened to my friend, I did not know why she decided to treat herself like this (from the official release, it was suicide), I mean she was the person that I would have never related to when talking about hurting oneself or suicide. She was so nice, so kind. I’ll admit it, even though I always try to be nice with everyone but sometimes I have temper, but she was the one who would not be easily triggered (I had never seen her mad or even overreact).
(I am so sorry I am far behind regarding the posts, I am still working on the posts for my two trips to Germany and study tour trip to Vienna with my core course) But in Vienna, we visited Viktor Frankl Center. He was the founder of the third Viennese psychotherapy school, just after Freud’s psychoanalysis and Adler’s individual psychology. It is a form of existential analysis called logotherapy. His survival from the concentration camps led him to discover the importance of finding meaning in all forms of existence to have a reason to continue living.
I really loved the word from Viktor Frankl that I would love to share:
“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.”Viktor E. Frankl, Man’s Search for Meaning
I think it is very right under any circumstance, for any people. For Frankl, it was about his meaning of life when he was at the concentration camp. For me right now, it is the situation that I could not really change what has already happened and I will no doubt miss her, but also the meaning of my life is to take more care about myself and other people I love who are still around.
F or people who are alive, it is necessary to find our own meaning of life. It can be anything, no matter big or small. It is the motivation to cheer people up, it is the lighthouse for your ship of life to lead your way towards your destination. At least when you are struggling, think about your meaning of life, to be aware that you have something to expect or something you still have to fulfill so that you can not easily give up your life.
I could not imagine how much her family could suffer from this, and my thoughts and prayers go out to them.
To My Fellow DIS Students:
Study abroad could be very challenging for some people. I mean
shit happens there are for sure many different things, perspectives, concepts in different cultures. It is always the case that “survival of the fittest”. If one can not change the situation, please try to change oneself to fit to the situation. If you ever feel you need help from others, go talk to DIS faculties, friends, people near you but do not just try to handle it yourself.
More info in the link below:
To My Dearest Denisonians:
I know I am not alone, and so are you! I really love it Denison is a community where people care each other. I really appreciate those who texted me or emailed me to check-in with me. It has been very tough, but tomorrow is another day.